I talk to you all the time but I’ve never written a letter to you before so I thought I should on the eve of the day we celebrate your resurrection. To say that being up on a cross with people that you love spitting at you and calling you names had to have been very hard. I’m sorry for the way people treated you. Today things are actually a lot worse than they were back then. We say we love each other but we pierce each other’s hearts in the name of our cause. Then when somebody defines you as something other than what you say you are we sit back and say nothing and if we do we’re condemned by the very same people that say they love you. I have no idea what to do about that because a lot of people think it’s fun to hide behind the internet and find ways to bring you down. It makes me really sad to think that there are people who don’t have a clue as to who you really are when I’m still learning.
We all know what happened on Easter morning but hardly anyone ever talks about where you were the day before. You went to hell for us. Most people think of hell as fire and brimstone but they forget that more importantly it’s the loneliest place in the universe. To be utterly alone is the most devastating thing to experience. I’ve felt alone before and I hate the feeling. That’s why I’m so grateful for what you’ve done.
Thank you for dying for me so that I would never be alone. Thank you for being there with me when my father left my home and I felt so utterly lost. Thank you for letting me know that when my mother called me names and hit me that this was not the way things were supposed to me. You couldn’t control her any more than we can control the people we love but still, you were there for me.
You were there for me when I was poor as a child and got second-hand toys. I was sad but you were there to whisper in my ear that you still loved me and that things would not always be this way. You were there for me when I was homeless and living in a church eating donuts for breakfast, lunch and dinner and showering with cold water. Even then, you whispered in my ear that things would not always be that way.
I started to see what you meant when you brought my sweet wife to me. She keeps me in check and loves me unconditionally. I started to see what you meant when I saw my daughter for the first time. It was then that I started to understand what you were willing to do for me.
I started to see what you meant when my father died and I got to see in his eyes how much he loved me. I see what you mean when my daughter would rather hang out with mom and dad than with friends. I’d be kidding myself if I totally understood what you mean because I’m not like you. Despite that and despite who I am, you love me anyway.
And for that, I thank you.