Fourteen years ago today my wife and I stood at the altar and committed to each other for the rest of our lives. To some that may not seem like a very long time so to them I would say congratulations.
But in this day and age marriage seems to mean less and less to some. Sometimes I find that offensive that there are people out there that think that they can take and take and not give of themselves. They have no idea what they’re missing out on and what they are robbing themselves of. It doesn’t take much character to take what you want and give nothing in return. But when you give all of you there is immensely so much more to gain.
There is an added strength when someone can see right through your selfishness and still commit to always lay their head next to yours. There is a confidence beyond words that assures you that whatever mistakes you make the marriage will stand because of what you’ve declared publicly. That is, if you take that seriously.
You see when you commit it is no a light thing that you do. You’re agreeing to be accountable publicly to one person and there is a weight behind that which cannot be manufactured forcefully. And when you make that commitment to each other you also make it to your future kids.
You’re agreeing to take the other person’s heart in your hand and protect it. To keep it safe from anything that would seek to destroy or dismantle it. And to feed it every day with yours.
That takes dying to yourself.
I don’t say any of these things arrogantly or mean it in a condescending way. If you know what I mean you won’t take it that way.
That’s why I wrote the letter below to my beloved. I wanted to post this on my blog so that my daughter could one day see it and know who I am if I’m no longer around.
My Dearest Love,
I asked God to give me something good to say in the midst of missing your dad but deep down I know that the only thing I can say to you is that I will never leave you. Every day I still think of the light that shined down on us as we took our vows at the alter. That to me was God telling us that He would shield our marriage from the harsh winds that were about to hit us. Although they hit us with a vengeance we are still together and strong. I thank God for that.
Not all of our hardships have been brought about by outside circumstances. Some of them have been brought on by us . . . by me. At times I’ve been consumed with the quest for freedom to find joy in my work and for that I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish I was someone different. Even so, I’m very grateful for you. With every year that goes by I have the joy of saying to myself that I have a wife who loves me and is good to me despite my faults.
You are my strength and my joy. You give me purpose and reason to love. And I do love you with everything that is in me. I always will Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being my bride. I will always love you alone and forever. I can’t wait to star our next year tomorrow.
Happy anniversary
Your husband
Lenny
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I come from a broken home and so does my wife. But we made a decision a long time ago that what we went through would never happen to our treasure. We’ve decided our marriage is going to mean something lasting and permanent. It’s forever. It’s supposed to be.
And sadly enough, there are increasingly more and more people that disagree.
Chat soon,
~L
