A Long Goodbye (Update on My Dad)

I had another post scheduled for today but early this week I was thrown for a loop when my dad was rushed to the hospital for what was initially thought to be pneumonia. I spend the first part of the week hoping that my head wouldn’t explode and that my heart would not jump out of my chest. It turned out to be bronchitis so after he was given fluids and meds he was sent back to the home. I felt powerless not being able to get on a plane (he lives in Puerto Rico) and go see him but because of our finances we simply can’t. The good news is that he’s being moved to a better home than the negligent one that he’s in now. In thinking of all of this I was brought to the sadness that my sweet daughter is faced with because she doesn’t have any grandparents living nearby.

My wife’s step-dad died just before Mackenzy was born. He died of lung cancer from a lifetime of smoking. My mom (and Kristen’s) live far away and it’s been years since they’ve seen them. She’s never met my dad who now has Alzheimer’s. When I was young my parents divorced and as a natural consequence our family was greatly divided.

Now, when our daughter sees other grandparents in the neighborhood visiting theirs for their birthdays, etc. it really grieves her. There were times where she would break down in the living room and cry asking why can’t she have grandparents. My wife is stronger in this area than I am and like the wise person that she is she constantly encourages us to remember that we will be the grandparents that she always wanted. After I pitch my internal fit I come to admit that she’s right and that I have to look to that as comfort.

What I’m really trying to say is that there are times where we have to choose to be comforted and fight our way to that place. Otherwise, we miss enjoying today. I’m trying harder every day to remember what we mean to Mackenzy now and forever.

I fail miserably at times but that’s ok because I’m human but at least I know where I should be. I’ve always known I have to be strong for her.

This week I got some extra cuddles in.

Now go get yours.

Chat soon,

~L