The Strength I Get from My Wife

I remember when the idea for Haven hit me for the first time. I was finishing up in the kitchen when I was on my way to the restroom in the back of our one-bedroom apartment at the time. My wife was sitting on the couch going through some coupons. I stopped on the way and asked her, “What do you think about a girl who, at the point of death,  is given the choice to stay in paradise or come back to Earth and comes back different?”

“Meh,” she responded.  I didn’t like that answer. I wasn’t angry but I will say that my pride was knocked off its stool.  That’s OK. I needed that extra push. I was determined to impress my bride with a knockout story so her response drove me to do better. Don’t get me wrong, she is very supportive of my work but she is also honest which I appreciate. So after some mulling, (and much discussion with her) Haven was born. The idea to infuse Dante’s Inferno into the mix actually came from her. As I wrote the outline it spiraled into creating characters out of each of the heads of the nine circles of hell and using the main character as a source of identification with anyone who has been through the horrors of an assault much like my wife did. This is also the theme behind the Haven of Dante prose novel.

All that to say that I honestly don’t know that wives realize how much their encouragement and support means to us. Husbands are too proud to admit it.

I’ve never been able to pinpoint exactly what it is but there is something that drives us guys to want to do better for the gals we love and whether we admit it or not their opinion (and their agreement) means a boatload to us. I want my wife to be proud of me (and she is) and I want my wife to think of me as major hotness no matter how old I get. To want that is not a bad thing. It’s when we get into the notion that we have to pretend to be something that we’re not that problems begin to arise and we hurt the ones we care about.

Ditch the pride guys. It doesn’t do anybody any good.

This week my wife and daughter are babysitting for a friend. Because it’s closer to school (we live about 45 minutes from school) they are staying with the kids there.

I couldn’t sleep last night. And no, having a dog is no help. It’s going to be a long couple of days. I better get some chocolate cake out of this.

Chat soon,

Leonardo Ramirez is an author of Science Fiction and Fantasy. Please visit http://leonardoverse.com and sign up for the blog.

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  • Well said, my friend.

  • It is said that behind every great man is a great woman. I would like to bring that a little bit closer to home. Behind every man who does something good is a woman who expects something great of him. Man needs Woman to keep him in the right, to keep him doing good.
    God knew what he was doing when He created Eve as a help for Adam. It is not good for man to be alone.
    Best of luck to you in these two days. I have had only four nights in eleven years without my wife by my side. There was a good doctor’s reason for it, but those were difficult times. I hope chocolate cake is in your future, but I am pretty sure you’d rather have family than cake. That makes you a better man for following your heart, rather than following your belly.